This is a picture of me today.

Unless I am in Cuba or Miami – whenever I see a man with shoes, trousers and no socks then I always think – ‘what a knob.’

I once saw Brian Ferry on Wardour Street without socks and I even thought it then.

So why me now and on this cold day?

Certainly not through absent mindedness or trying to make a fashion statement. I got up this morning and the socks I put on – I fully expected to keep on all day until I go to bed later tonight.

Who’d be a Dad?

Until that is – mid-morning I am sitting in an orthodontists surgery with one of my twins who is being examined for the braces that he needs – when I spot that he is wearing a pair of white fluffy pop socks – which in the Holland household can only belong to his mum.

What a knob?

How many pairs of socks have we bought them to go with their black school uniform – and yet here he is dressed like Martina Navratilova.

My plan was to drop him back at school on my way home – so now I am reduced to giving him my socks and continuing on Commando but I’d scheduled to stop in at our local Post Office en route. I did think about going home first but decided not to. No one will see me? Getting out of the car, a bus pulls up and is emptying. People spot me. I can feel them staring. It’s a freezing day and here’s a bloke in suede shoes, suit trousers and no socks.

“What a knob.”