Traffic is normally a bad thing and why we have apps to avoid it.

Unless we have a blog of course, whereupon traffic is the Holy Grail. On-line – traffic is success and means sales and income.

And as the owner of a website and blog, I find myself with a unique opportunity being the father of a boy in whom there is frantic worldwide interest. And this presents me with a moral dilemma also especially since I have a product for sale all specifically about this kid and how he became a superhero.

But having a son like Tom has also given me in to a glimpse in to the utter nonsense that is our modern world and the stories that we are fed with absolute aplomb and certainty.

Last week, in London and on a red carpet, Tom had a camera thrust in to his face and it was put to him, what the hell has happened to your nose?

A fair question since Tom does currently have a badly injured face.

Tom answered honestly but only to a point. That he was on a film set, about to do his final take of a movie and that he fell over and broke his nose. There was blood everywhere but he is fine. The take was fine and he will survive.

But the stories that have been conjured from this statement and now bombard my inbox are all fantasy.

The consensus seems to be that Marvel is to blame. That Marvel would not even allow Tom to go to hospital having broken his nose on the set of Civil War. And that they made the kid work on and through the pain.

This is utter bollocks and proven by the fact that the injury did not even take place on a Marvel set.

Of course the websites carrying such stories are all chasing traffic in order to sell ads and create revenue and you see therefore the unique position that I am in with what I could tell the world? I know everything about this kid. How the nose is now, how it is being treated. How he is feeling today…

Or that, yesterday, playing with Harry, one of my twins, we took on Spider-man and my bro-in-law at golf and we kicked their effing asses. I was better than Tom by six shots. The young super-hero was floundering against my generally better all round play. And why is this?

Well, because of Marvel I guess. Because the kid is exhausted from the onerous casting procedure and then the filming of Captain America? The kid is so tired, he can barely swing a club and can’t unblur his exhausted vision to make a putt.

Parents, more desperate or less scrupulous might see sales and revenue in the titbits of their son’s life but for now at least – what goes on in Chez Holland will remain private.

That said, in response to the question I am continually asked – how did Tom become Spider-man, I confidently refer them to my website and in particular – how tom holland eclipsed his dad – which is all true by the way (if a little embellished in parts) and almost everything else that you read on-line about Tom is most usually nonsense.