Home > Blog > Funny but not funny…

Funny but not funny…

Have you heard the one about the hapless author who uploaded his new novel full of typos and plot errors and then encouraged people to pre-order it?

I know, what sort of nutter would do such a thing?

Perhaps, an author who has some kind of death wish or self-destruct button? Maybe a masochist? A writer who likes to scupper many hundreds of hours of his work and effort.

You should know by now, that I am this nutter but I don’t have any such death wish. I am just hapless.

The odds of writing and publishing a successful novel are long enough already – and yet I seem to conjure up ways to lengthen them even more. Hapless is probably too the polite way.  Complete ‘effing idiot is better. But stuff like this just happens to me and it’s exhausting.

So, if only for my own sanity, allow to briefly explain how this has occurred…

I was under the impression that the uploaded novel could be edited up-until the publication date, so that any people pre-ordering the book (thank you to them btw) will receive the latest and corrected version.

WRONG!

Pre-order people (my thanks again) will receive the original uploaded book and not the newly edited and corrected edition.

Doh!

This means my early (most loyal and ardent fans) will receive the ‘dogs dinner’ edition of Made in England including such glaring errors as the authors name!

Oh yes, this time around, I have wasted no time with testing my reader’s patience.

In this edition of Made in England, the author is Dominic holland – and I wish I could claim this as some sort of stylistic thing. But no. Somehow, I just forgot to capitalise my own f***** surname.

Typos aside – they are legion and too many to bore you with – but more meaty errors are the names of characters which change throughout the novel.

Double Doh.

Good luck readers with such chicanes for you to negotiate. Why make reading easy, eh? I imagine furrowed brows and accompanying… “hang on, who?”

Publishing books over the years, I am aware of how upset readers can be at even singular errors. An omitted ‘at’, an extra ‘had’ or an errant ‘of’ can all be incendiary, so quite how readers will handle a book where a leading character is ‘Juliet’ on one page and then subsequently is ‘Elizabeth’ is a whole new level of hurt.

On the plus side – pre-orders have not been exactly stratospheric. A bad thing per se but a good thing in such circumstances. So, well done to all of the thousands of people who have held off ordering Made in England until the day of publication – assuming this is what is happening.

(3rd July btw)

Of course, I have petitioned the company for help and understanding but so far at least, with no joy. They are a new breed of company – the kind that discourages phone calls, even when a phone number can be found.

“Instead, why not try our web site where all the answers to all the questions…”

Or, maybe you’d like to hang out on our forum…

I have offered to buy back the pre-ordered copies and have them discarded – (burn’t even) which is a crime against art but in these circumstances…) This might be painful but you’d imagine it’s doable in this tech age, but at this juncture anyway, COMPUTER SAYS NO.

And so I am left to ponder. Dare I ask the company for the email addresses of the people who’ve been kind enough to pre-order? I chuckle at the very notion of such a request.  HR people’s minds imploding at such a ludicrous ask, assuming there are actual people within the company and not just robots.

Or maybe an insert is the way forward.

A leaflet that can be inserted in to the offending paperbacks. A sort of authorial disclaimer.

‘Apologies from the author that the book you are about to read is a bit shit…’

But then I’d worry that this doesn’t go far enough.

“A bit!”

Or I can make an appeal via my incredibly successful and far reaching blog.

So, if you are reading this and have pre-ordered Made in England (my thanks, yet again) – please accept my apologies and if you make contact, I will dispatch a new much improved version to you at no expense.

I realise also that this week’s edition of my blog might be counter-productive. Certainly it is not selling or promoting my new book.

Made in England btw – out July 3rd and typo light (I won’t ever claim typo ‘free’).

But I hope this blog does reach some of the relevant readers – whom I have thanked already – although, I am not done with my gratitude…

So to conclude…

To any readers of the pre-ordered editions of Made in England who DON’T write a review, thank you very much indeed.

 

*

People on my Patreon have been quick to offer support and possible upsides including that these copies might become future collector items.

There are ample precedents. Original editions of Harry Potter can fetch $50,000. The Catcher in The Rye is even more valuable at $75k…

So, imagine what Made in England (complete with errors) might be worth one day?

For the record, and without wishing to be rude, but anyone buying a Dominic Holland novel as an investment is likely to be even more stupid than me and will almost certainly end up disappointed and maybe even doubly so.

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 thoughts on “Funny but not funny…”

  1. Opps! Live and Learn, as they say. I was holding off ordering my copy because, like the first version of any computer software, you want to wait for the updated version that always comes out immediately after the first version. NOTHING is perfect the first time

    Going thru Kindle books for a download in preparation of my long flight this week to London . Hope it’s cool over there,. week ahead here is mid-upper 90°’s (F)

    looking forward to the next blog and next book release 🙂

  2. Dom I really hope they change their mind and do something to help. You could do with a break especially after all the work you’ve put into to it.
    Best wishes Dom

  3. Derek Shakespeare

    Oh well guess I can live with a mildly imperfect copy of the new book,pre-ordered lately. Looking forward to reading my downloaded copy,when it arrives.

  4. Hah! This blog alone has ensured an extra sale. I love it. Also, capital letters will probably be obsolete at some point soon… so you’re just prescient, I say. Well done, it is no mean feat at all and I look forward to reading it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *