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Splash

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A rare thing this week in the Holland household when the entire family watched and love a TV show.

No not Sherlock but Splash – watched on catch-up TV which comes without adverts and begs the question, why does anyone watch anything in real time on any channel outside the BBC?

On all realities shows, my boys ask me if I would do the show and always agree that I should (if asked). I have turned a few down – Celebrity Wife Swap springs to mind.

Splash is fun though and I am in awe of the contestants bravery.

I say this because I have been on a 10m board. Actually on the Olympic platform in Barcelona but this is of no real consequence. 10 metres is 10 metres wherever it is and let allow me to explain – it is absolutely terrifying.

Most municipal pools in the UK with diving facilities have boards up to 5m high.

I was in Barcelona for a pick up shot for the film The Impossible – in my capacity as chaperone to my eldest son, Tom. Whilst filming, no one was allowed up the boards and so I sat there all day looking forward to leaping off the top board with the famous Spanish City as my backdrop. I might even dive off I thought, but most likely I will jump.

Tom said the same – and so when the director finally called wrap – we were free to head north – literally – and then suffer the most humiliating walk on earth – the walk down from the top diving board.

Because I could not even jump off the bloody thing. And nor could the fearless Tom.

So watching Splash was poignant for me, particularly seeing the rugby legend, Martin Offiah, absolutely rigid with fear. Rugby is played on the ground and I enjoyed seeing such a tough man so humbled – and I thank him for reducing my entire family to hysterics.

An interesting insight in to human nature explains the reason why Splash is a successful show - and it is this - that all viewers secretly hope for a splat and not a splash.

Belly flops is where the money is. If anything , a contestant executing a dive well is almost disappointing – in line with the youtube clips of people injuring themselves always being so popular.

This is a worrying trait and yet, the voting public could have prolonged the agony and hilarity of seeing Martin Offiah mid-air and screaming and yet they did the right thing and voted him down. And I expect he will never leave the ground again unless it’s in a plane.

So thank you Martin Offiah for giving my family so much fun and thank you the voting audience for affirming the better side of human nature.

 

 

 

 

 

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