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The big leagues…

Eagle eyed readers of this blog will have noticed that I have fallen foul of Google again; a repeat offender no less and such that my site is deemed unsuitable to carry any adverts.

This is irksome. I refute whatever transgressions I am accused of and I don’t have any inclinations (nor abilities) to have this decision reversed. Not being flash, but I can survive without the bountiful income of up to £2 per day, thank you very much and I will continue to blog without these rewards, so have no fear my reader/s.

This might sound glib and a little foolhardy. After all, every little helps… count the pennies… and as I said in my previous post on this subject, it is nice to see a tally being accumulated and especially in the context of projecting forward.

The Holy Grail of any of us workers is enjoying a royalty income. Income based on our past endeavours and which can be income in perpetuity for the likes of brand authors and say, movie stars.

Speaking of which, I write this post with a cheque (of check, it being a US variety) on my desk that warms my heart and more on in a moment or two.

Indeed as an author and writer of various radio and TV shows over the years, I can count myself in this hallowed category of worker. Every six months or so, I will receive a few emails from far flung places from people who have listened to my radio series, The Small World of Dominic Holland – six half hours shows of my stand up comedy. Such emails are always very welcome but pale against the excitement in anticipating the cheque that always accompanies such a broadcast. It depends on the territory of course – Belgium being the most recent country to put it out and this created an income for me of some £30.

God Bless, Belgium, I say. Nikki, tonight we eat out. Main courses only and no alcohol.

I have book royalties of course but despite my best efforts, these remain at best, paltry.  And as an artiste, I cannot help imagining the largesse that other members of my profession must enjoy… JK Rowling springs to mind. Book sales (Asia) Quarter 3, 2019… $1m… Europe $1m… and so on and so forth and so much blinking money.  Same thing for Elton John, Billy Joel, Paul McCartney, Danielle Steele, Steven King… and let us not forget Tom Holland.

There is much on-line speculation about Tom’s net worth and income, most of which is wildly inaccurate. But I write this post with this cheque/check in mind of which the payee is Tom Holland.  It dates back to 30th November 2018 and remains uncashed which is irresponsible of me because I am sure that cheques eventually expire and the money is forfeited.

I didn’t cash it because it serves a much better purpose on my desk than at Tom’s disposal. As a reminder of life and how I must keep things in perspective. That the nerds at Google might be irritating (and they are) but no matter, because I don’t have things too bad. Not really.

The cheque is from a company called Universal City Studios and was delivered to our London home via Tom’s American agents. Accompanying the cheque (indeed affixed to it) is a statement explaining the income and its source, under a general heading, Residuals…

And the amount in question?

29 cents.

Or to be precise, $0.29

Tom is away at present making a film – which is just as well because on these kind of residuals, his future security is far from certain.

At the end of filming, it is traditional that the leading actor is given a present by the production company. This is usually something of a keepsake, a reminder of the film and is often framed.

This is not something that we have ever done for Tom – but I might make an exception in this instance. When this film is finished, Tom will have been away for a long time and we will have missed him.  He might like to return home to a framed present that he can hang on his wall and I have the perfect thing in mind…



Because of Google and their impenetrable rules, the author of this post earns nothing from this writing. But he does however make a small income if either Eclipsed or I,Gabriel are bought via this site. Either book (or both) can be signed and dedicated and your support is greatly appreciated and will allow an artiste to continue striving against all the odds…  

84 thoughts on “The big leagues…”

    1. I’m absolutely disgusted with Google. Although I hope you won’t stop writing this blog. I’m here for a while and I enjoy every new post. Normally I’m not commenting publicly, but recently I found courage to do it. So you will know there are people appreciating your work. Please don’t give up, and who knows…maybe thinks will change for better.

    1. Alejandra papayanopulos

      OMGGG i love this blog
      And your books ! I have 2 books of yours and I totally love it ! I’m the biggest fan of your family I think you guys are so hilarious

    2. I’m from Peru and you don’t know how happy I am for having learnt English (not too weel yn) but at least I can read your blogs:D

    1. Great story Dom. I do a bit of freelance photography, ( DrD Photography) mostly still images, but admire how your son Harry is making a name for himself in the same field, albeit more video, than still.

    1. Hi Dom love your blogs and I just want to tell you that I was watching some of your old comedy videos on YouTube and I couldn’t stop laughing they were hilarious. You are so funny I would love to see one of your shows.

  1. Another great blog Dom! Really sorry that your Google ads have been taken away again. I did a YouTube videos once and I made a whopping grand total of $0.01 from them! I hope Google gives you your ads back, your great and you deserve the revenue.
    Love from,
    Ellen xxxxxx

  2. i’ve bought both of ur books and if school wasn’t so busy i’d definitely read them in a few hours, might have some time in the hospital tho <3 love the blogs!

  3. May I recommend a dollar store frame for your keepsake? Let’s be realistic…it will be triple the price of its content. I’d happily mail you one if you and Nikki want a drink with dinner for a change

      1. Where all masterpieces belong. Would make for a good instagtam post. Of course will be expecting my due credit…@schmizmar. Seriously though I love your stuff and f*** google.

  4. How incredibly annoying this is happening, again! I hope you manage to find a way to get something out of these blog posts and this website! Goddamn you Google!

    On a lighter note, I may have to request a couple signed books for my 25th birthday next month! Probably have to order them for myself though!

    All the best from the Southwest!

  5. From little acorns, great oaks etc… Some day the wonderful people in Google will appreciate you the way some of your followers do Dom and will allow your “substantial income”from their ads to accumulate into something significant. Maybe some day you and Nikki will be able to enjoy a nice glass on them. Meanwhile, I very much enjoy your blogs and think you should definitely frame Tom’s gigantic cheque/check

  6. Reading this from New Zealand!! Fingers crossed you get some ads back soon! I hope you and Nicki have a fantastic (albeit sober) dinner – and that residual cheque seems very deserving of a place on the fridge!

  7. Good thing you sent Tom to carpentry school! $0.29 will get him some nails for starters.
    So funny!
    Enjoy your dinner and get the alcohol.

    1. your comment is proof that you have read Eclipsed – (the only place for all things TH) – your books are en-route – hope they help

  8. Hello Mr. Holland! Love reading your blogs! I agree, Google is honestly so annoying and I really hope that you get your ads back. Keep writing those blogs! I would gladly support you by buying two of your books. If you could sign them I would really appreciate it. All the best from Canada!

  9. Tried to place an order through your bookshop, but when entering CC information, it stated: TEST MODE ENABLED and it wont process.
    I’ve had the same issue with the site sometimes.

      1. No Worries.. I processed with PayPal for 2 novels. I had purchased and read them from Amazon kindle (5 star reviews of course), but I’d like a signed version to sit next to my Stephen King signed novel…

        1. Google being ridiculous again!! We love reading your blogs with or without the ads . One day they’ll wake up and realise they need you more than you need them!!

  10. I’ve been reading your blogs for about a month now. I find them very entertaining. I plan on purchasing one of your books in the near future. I just have to wait until mid November when I go back to work for the Christmas season and can start earning money again! Oh the joys of getting older and having to go do work and school and homework.

  11. I apologize if this has been asked previously but what is the likelihood of you releasing any of your novels as audiobooks? I am in the middle of “Eclipsed” and would thoroughly enjoy hearing it in your own voice.

    1. this is currently on my to-do list – but to forewarn you, this list is long and winding. For Eclipsed, my long term goal is for Tom and I to narrate it together subject to his availability and affordability of course.

      1. That would be awesome! Maybe you can negotiate a friends and family discount for his talent fee. He’s a nice guy. He might give it to you.

  12. Would really like to read your books, but I even have some trouble to understand everything you write on your blog
    Dont know… my english understanding is worse 🙁 I think they wont be translated into orher languages (like german maybe)?

  13. Hi Dom, great blogs I really enjoy reading them. There are many a ways to monetise a website/blog without using Google ads. Let me know if you want some help/advice I own a marketing agency in Buckinghamshire. We are also looking for a charity/trust to help free of charge and we all love what The Brothers Trust stands for and is doing for charities to gain exposure for them. Having worked for a small charity I know how hard it can be for them. Would love to have a chat with you.

  14. I hope you get more profits soon because you deserve it. In recognition of your efforts and your love for your followers this great work . I’m Haidy. I follow you from Egypt. I wish you success

  15. Continuing to enjoy your blogs! I, too, have purchased your books through Amazon Kindle but I do really miss the touch and smell of books. I think a belated birthday or early Christmas gift to myself would be to purchase them in paperback. It would be an honor if you would sign them. I see others have had issues using their cc. Thankfully I have also have had good luck with PayPal. Still one of my favorite sections in Eclipsed was naming your boys after cell phones!! It really made me chuckle. Also thankfully Nikki saw the talent in Tom or he wouldn’t be receiving the checks!

  16. I didn’t believe it when I read 29 cents, I laughed a lot at that. Poor Tom, maybe he buys a candy with the cheque, it would be a hilarious scene…
    I always read your blog, every time you publish a new story, it’s really funny, keep the blog.
    Good luck with Google
    Hugs from Brazil
    Ps: in Brazil, the comedians publish small parts of the shows on instagram and youtube, you could do that and let in your blog too. I believe that you must have a legion of fans because of your stand up career, use it to call attention for your show and blog.

  17. Just read few of your blogs which has lead me to purchase your book ‘eclipsed’. I’m hoping it will give me brownie points with my teenage daughter who is massive marvel fan (especially Spider-Man) but I’m thinking in reality I’ll just get ‘mum that’s so embarrassing’ so please can you sign the book for me! I’ll enjoy reading it anyway!

      1. Daughter’s reaction- mum this is borderline stalking! Can’t believe you left comment! My reply to her: well I shall say what you’ve just said and apologise if it’s in anyway stalkerish! So sorry if this is classed as stalking not my intention at all!! When do teenagers become easy to handle? Looking forward to read the book.

  18. Mr. Holland,
    I greatly appreciate your blog and am very glad you will continue on with it. Thank you for the giggle
    Your perspective almost always gives me.

  19. I love your entire family there all such an inspiration I honestly wish I could be your daughter because your funny and I love that because you can make me smile and laugh everyday I also thank you for all your family has done they have brought me up when I am at my lowest and that is why I have chosen to give life a second chance and not give up on myself thank you so much

  20. Just ordered both from your site. I have already bought and in process of reading on Kindle, but wanted to support you. My son is also 23, but not quite as accomplished as Tom, still figuring out his life. Thanks for the lively humour!

    1. Ken this is kind but just to say, my disclaimer at the bottom of my blog was written in jest more than a plea for sales. As welcome as sales are, I really don’t want my readers duplicating their purchases – but would encourage them to help other readers discover my books who might enjoy them. And finally, thank you.

      1. I understood, tongue firmly in cheek. I did want to obtain books to share with my reading class, where I am a teacher at a secondary school in northern California.

  21. This warms my heart…my favourite part…
    “ God Bless, Belgium, I say. Nikki, tonight we eat out. Main courses only and no alcohol.”
    I love this blog, and please don’t stop blogging.
    Much love from Ferrari World Abu Dhabi!

  22. Hello Dom
    Lovely time reading your blog.
    I am at school and have taken am interest in photography do to see Nikki and Harry take to cameras is inspiring. You and Nikki have raised your children so well. I mean you started a Trust, Tom is a role model in real life as well as a superhero and you bring happiness to every reader (except maybe Google). Keep going.

  23. I know how you feel. I have a blog which is close to 100,000 views now but apparently that doesn’t warrant adsense income.

    Worst case scenario, I’m sure Tom would float you the $0.29

  24. Hi, First of all sorry because I’m from Spain and “my english” is not good. I have no idea why I’ve been receiving links in my e-mail to Dom Holland’s twitter, and when I checked it I ended up hereXD this has been the 3rd or 4th time… anyway, as I really enjoy reading I’ve read this blog every time I’ve received a link to it. Maybe reading it I’ll improve a little bit my english… or not XDDD So, I guess I’m a new reader here. ^_^
    (Sorry for all the mistakes I may have written)

  25. Love your blog, love your books, and love your outlook. I always walk away from your posts smiling.

    Question: how do I go about getting a signed copy of Eclipsed? Is there an option for doing that somewhere during checkout? I’ve got two of your books on Kindle, but would like to get an actual copy of that one.

      1. Got it! Thanks so much. I’ll let my husband know that’s what he got me for our anniversary, since we both woke up this morning and said, “Oh yeah, today’s the twenty-third…”

        After 26 years and three kids, days have a way of just blending together, hahaha.

  26. Hey!

    So…I’ve recently just binge-read everything on your blog (which makes me sound like such a creep, but I digress). I have to say that I quite enjoy reading your writing. I’m an avid writer myself, not that I blog on the daily, I prefer the more subtle approach.

    Who am I kidding? I write novels, poems, anything of that sort. Not that I’ve gotten any recognition for any of them, as I currently haven’t sent anything to the publishers.

    What I was trying to say before the tangent tide took me away was that I’m a new reader. And that I consistently enjoy the blogs that you put out daily.

    As to where I’ve been…Well, let’s just say I’ve been living under a rock for the past few years of my life.

  27. I have been following your blog (via twitter) for the last few months and deciding to just click on that blog link back then was absolutely the correct choice because I have yet to be disappointed by a new entry!
    (but no worries, even if that were to happen someday, I am not going to run away crying or anything; just a short displeased look and good hopes for the future…)
    Might treat myself to one or two of your books for christmas, good writing (and good humour) is always welcome.

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